I waited in the hall near the stage door at the end of the performance for Andew to appear. Once a teen and young adult volunteer in our 4-H camp program, I hadn't seen him in years. I first met him as a 7th grader who joined the youth choir I led. After high school his dream was to dance professionally and he joined a performing group. This night I came to watch him sing and dance in a holiday production. He was dynamic on stage. When he saw me after the show, he rushed to give me a hug.
“I understand you're studying for your PhD in French,” I said.
“Yes,” he replied. “I'm teaching at UC Davis and will graduate soon.”
“You'll be a Doctor,” I said with a smile.
“Yes. Dr. Andrew.”
“Or Dr. Flipper!” I grinned, referring to his camp name, and he smiled back.
I think about the journey Andrew (and indeed all of us) embarks upon to understand ourselves, to define our identity, to learn about our gifts and talents and interests. Adolescence is a time especially prone to questions and self-exploration. In the 4-H Thriving Model, we speak about helping young people identify their “sparks”—areas of interest or passion. Our sparks can bring us satisfaction, joy, a sense of purpose, and even lead us to our careers. Caring adults can help youth discover and nurture their sparks. We can also inspire self-awareness beyond helping youth identify and develop their interests. We can support and reassure young people as they learn about themselves and their place in the world.
How do we encourage self-discovery? What enables a young person to connect with their passion or to understand themselves better? What contributes to a sense of purpose? Here are some ideas:
- Support Interests:When a youth is energized, engaged, and “sparked” by an activity or event, do you notice? Do you take time to ask about, explore and affirm their interest?
- Introduce New Experiences: What types of new activities, ideas or experiences do you present to young people through your project or club? How do you create a safe space for young people to try new things?
- Help Set Goals: Do you encourage youth to set goals to improve their skill, knowledge or performance? Does your project present opportunities for continued growth where youth build their understanding over time? Do you help youth see failure as part of growing?
- Encourage Discussion: Do you take time to talk with youth and to really listen when they share their ideas, thoughts, questions and feelings? Are you accepting and encouraging as they share? Do you share your own stories about your interests and learning experiences?
- Ask Questions: What questions can you ask to deepen a young person's awareness about an experience? How can you take time to do so?
As Andrew and I parted that evening, I was moved by our brief encounter.
“Andrew,” I said, “You're…you're…,” I stumbled as I tried to find the right words.
“I'm all grown up,” he finished, and gave me another warm hug.
Arnold, M. E. (2018). From context to outcomes: A thriving model for 4-H youth development programs. Journal of Human Sciences and Extension, 6 (1), 141-160.